Riddle: What is worse than being stood up by a guy that you had at best lukewarm feelings about?
Answer: Being stood up by TWO guys that you had at best lukewarm feelings about.
In my previous post where I compared the various dating services I’ve tried (“Clash of the Titans: A Comparative Analysis of Dating Services”), I mentioned that I recently had been stood up by a guy who admitted his love of the Twilight saga. What I didn’t know when I wrote that post was that the following day, I would be trapped in the “Groundhog’s Day” of dating and would be stood up the following day by a different guy. I fear I may be getting ahead of myself as usual, so let’s go back to the beginning of the story.
I hadn’t been too successful with my matches on Physics.* First there was the chinchilla neuterer (see “Two Things I Never Thought I’d Hear”). Then I had one good date with a guy I wasn’t so sure about who we ended up playing phone and email tag, we never were able to arrange our second date. I had what I thought was a fantastic date with another guy who said he wanted to meet up again, asked me when I was free, and then never contacted me again (see “I Kinda Liked It Better When My Dates Were Insane” for more details on both these Princes of Mediocrity).
That brings us to December 2010/January 2011 and my two first dates at a seemingly lovely wine bar. So the first first date was with Franklin.* We had exchanged some great emails and I was really looking forward to meeting him. Our date was a lot of fun but I have to admit, there really weren’t any sparks. I was undeterred though as nerves often come into play on a first date and Franklin* seemed like a catch. He was a great conversationalist and had a ton of interesting hobbies. In addition to his athletic hobbies (volleyball, kayaking, running), he played really obscure board games with his friends. Some sort of game where you win sheep instead of money…I can’t remember the name but the way he described it, it sounded hysterical.
The only moment that gave me any pause was at the end of the date. He asked me about my New Year’s Eve plans and I told him (“South Pacific” at the Kennedy Center with a friend) and I asked about his plans. He said that friends were coming over to play bizarre board games and make some Korean soup and just hang out. He then mentioned that they might watch Eclipse (for the uninitiated, Eclipse is the third movie in the “Twilight” saga). I assumed he had to be kidding but he assured me that he wasn’t but that his friends weren’t too excited by the idea. Franklin* was really into it though and admitted that he was a Twilight fan and that he “loved vampires.”
Here is where I admit to you yet another of my guilty pleasures/secret shames. I have read all the Twilight saga books and have seen the three movies that have been released thus far. I’m severely chagrined to admit this as I made so much fun of a friend who was a self-proclaimed “Twi-hard” and member of “Team Edward.” I mocked her incessantly for a loooong time for being into books and movies about sullen teenagers, vampires, and werewolves. And then I made the mistake of reading the books. They are, as another friend described them, “love crack.” Unbelievably addictive and you know it’s so bad for you but you can’t stop. My excuse is that I’m a chic and, although I try to deny it, a hopeless romantic. I don’t know what Franklin’s* excuse was.
Anyway, so right after I went out with Franklin* he went on a vacation to go snowboarding with some friends in Colorado. But before he left, he indicated that he had a great time and wanted to go out again. After some negotiating we settled on our next date being on Sunday, 16 January, when he returned from his trip. He assured me that he’d when he got back to town that weekend and we’d sort out the details.
Fast-forward to a week after my first date with Franklin* when I was due to meet Chip* at the very same wine bar where I had met Franklin.* I’ve already described that date with him in the post To Text or Not to Text. To briefly recap, prior to our somewhat non-thrilling date Chip* admitted that he had his eyebrows waxed and was a fan of facials and massages, our date itself was just kind of so-so, then he sort of abruptly ended our date, texting me afterward to ask me in the 2011 version of a note that you’d exchange in middle school (you know the type I’m talking about: Do you like me? Circle Yes or No), “Do you want to go out again?” I decided what the hell and he and I chatted once or twice after to arrange our next date for Monday, 17 January.
As the fateful dates approached, I hadn’t talked with either of the guys but decided to keep a brief window on each day free in case they actually did get in touch. I didn’t not meet up or hang out with friends as a result of these planned dates but I did move some plans around for these two second dates. And then I never heard from either guy again.
I wasn’t really all that upset but I have to admit that my pride is a little bruised. As is often the moral of my dating story, of course it could have been worse. I could have been waiting at the restaurant/movie theater/club/bar/wherever by myself with them never showing. I could have really, really liked them and then they didn’t show. But still, being stood up kinda sucks and as with other failed dates, I have to start to wonder, what is it about me that makes this kind of stuff happen? Did I jinx it by closely arranging dates with two different guys at the same location? Is there some bad dating juju at that wine bar? Were those initial moments of doubt –first with the proclaimed love of vampires and secondly with the tendency for manscaping—really warning signs? And where do I go from here?
Of course, I don’t know the answers to those questions. And maybe they’re not even the right questions to be asking. For now, I’ll stop my ceaseless Riddler-like brain and call it a night. Immediately after the dates that never were, I caught some sort of flu/hideous virus and was insanely ill for about the past week or so, therefore, I will consider myself purged of the bad dating germs and ready to start new and fresh whenever I figure out my next move in the extreme sport of dating.
*Name has been changed.
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