There Is Nothing to Fear…but Electricity Itself?

Alright, this post is to satisfy the curious who have been asking if my current dating life is as wacky as the previous stories I have told. To that question, I must quote the sage Whitney Houston as she exclaimed to her erstwhile husband in their brush with reality television: “Hell to the yeah!”

Before I finish telling you all about my times with Match (including of course the angry midget and the near albino), I have to write a quick update about my latest date that actually just took place tonight. Perhaps I sealed my own fate when I chose a nearby watering hole as our meeting point as that as been the site of some truly terrible dates – rageaholics, guys who wanted me to euthanize my dog, the guy with way too much cologne and 4 kids under the age of six, etc.

Regardless, we met for what I thought would be just a drink and then he sneaked dinner in on me. I’m against dinner on a first date. Ideally, first dates would be coffee. Coffee is brief and has a definitive end. Failing that, meeting up for a drink after work is acceptable too. I don’t like to commit to a full meal until I know the guy can carry on a conversation and isn’t totally psychotic. But Sam* sneaked dinner in by putting our names in for a table when I was trying to head to the bar.

Like several of the other guys I’ve met on these sites, he seemed like a completely nice guy. He also was highly nervous – very fidgety, a little awkward in the conversational skills area and totally devoid of a sense of humor, I hoped he would warm up after a while. Then for a moment I feared that not only wouldn’t he loosen up but that he would also be boring and too normal. Ha.

I forget how this conversation started but he mentioned that he was afraid of heights. I hadn’t asked him about his fears as that’s a totally strange line of discussion for a first date, so I really can’t remember why it came up. I think it was because we were talking about doing home renovation and how he didn’t want to do his exterior painting as he was afraid of heights. That isn’t the weirdest of fears so I was a little blown away when he said that his fear of heights couldn’t compare to his fear of electricity.

Yep, that’s right. He is afraid of electricity. Like really afraid. I commented that it must be difficult to deal with since he works in computer science and last time I checked there were very few computers that ran without electricity. Plus there’s very few places you can go that don’t have electricity and I have been extremely grateful for electricity and the air conditioning it powers in this sauna-like heat wave we’ve been having. But yes, he had a pretty serious fear of electricity and being electrocuted. I didn’t want to seem unkind by mocking a serious fear but really? REALLY!?!?!? I was also thrown for a loop when he asked me what my “crippling fears” were. I almost said dates with awkward men with no conversational savvy but again this seemed cruel.

The rest of the date unraveled much the way I would have expected. After he asked me about my dog, I asked him if he had any pets and he said that he didn’t believe in getting pets until he was married and had a family. He asked me if I believed in having serious relationships or if I liked casual dating as he only liked having serious relationships. He had no hobbies other than working on computers outside of work, not a lot of friends in the area to hang out with and had lost touch with his friends outside of the area. Oh and he hates to travel. So no, sadly we weren’t the best of matches. Definitely no sparks.