Wanted: Personal assistant to help organize my chaotic dating life. Must have excellent organizational skills, be an active and good listener, and a creative thinker who can roll with the punches (not literal; I’m not often prone to violence and if it comes to that, I’m more likely to kick than punch). Pay will be in form of high-fives for jobs well done as well as occasional baked goods, if I feel like it.
Clearly things have gotten out of control. That is certain. I was having a hard time coping with the one dating site I had joined and the decision to join another has exacerbated my frustration and confusion. I’ve never been a terribly organized person. I fully admit my ability to excel in procrastination while others merely dabble in the art. While I enjoy making a good “to do” list as much as the next woman, it is infrequent that all of my “to do” list gets “to done.”
I finally recognized that things had gotten this bad this past weekend. Now to put things in a little context, I’ve had a couple of instances where a guy will contact me on one site and then a few months or years later, that same guy will contact me when I’m a member of a dating website. This happened with this guy who found me on Mismatch* and then later on a free site I joined. That dude came on WAY too strong, WAY too fast. The details are fuzzy now but I do remember that Mr. Ticket* was obsessed with inviting me to events and he always seemed to have an extra ticket for things. He also always wanted to meet in very out-of-the-way places before said event to make sure that he got the ticket to me. As he emailed these details I could hear the theme song to “Psycho” playing in my head so I never took him up on any of his offers.
But the most recent incident is slightly more disturbing as to what it says to my power of recall when it comes to my social life. If you read my post “Beware the Ides of March” you may recall me talking about a guy on a previous site who talked excessively about his Mercedes and who I wasn’t sure if we had ever met in person. I guess its not surprising that over a year later, I still don't recall all the salient details.
I was just approached on the site Physics* by a guy who seemed like one I’d definitely like to get to know. His profile was funny and approachable and his pictures showed a cute guy with a variety of interests. There was something about him that seemed familiar but I’m honestly communicating with too many prospective suitors on this site to remember all of them, particularly the ones I haven’t met yet; don't get all excited though about the hordes of guys you think I'll be dating. While I may communicate with a bunch at first, the wear and tear of the dating sites lower the chances of meeting all these guys. So, back to this particular potential suitor, I clicked on the button for “interested” and went on about my merry way. But something in the depths of my semi-consciousness kept bugging me until I figured out that this guy from Physics* and the guy with the Mercedes were the same exact guy. And I still can’t remember if I’ve actually gone on a date with him.
This leaves me in a bit of a pickle. Do I attempt to talk to this guy who seems interesting? Even if I may have potentially gone out with him before which maybe he would realize if we met up this time? And I would probably act like a total goober as I’d be super paranoid that he was waiting to give me a ration of crap for not remembering him or that I would get all angry that he didn’t remember me?
All of this could have been solved if I had a personal assistant who took copious notes of my encounters with these men and helped me quickly decide which ones I wanted to try and which should be avoided. Maybe the assistant could even be the one to stare at my phone waiting for it to ring from either of my two dates from last week who have yet to call. But that, my friends, is another story for another day. If you know of any personal assistants willing to organize my social life for little or no pay, bad hours, plus she or he has to listen to me whine excessively on the status of said social life, I’m currently accepting resumes.
*Name has been changed
There are lots of unemployed people. Maybe there's a recent college grad out there looking for some experience who would be willing to volunteer.
ReplyDeleteAs for Mercedes Man, I would say ask right off: "Have we met before? You seem vaguely familiar but I don't know why." I don't see why doing that would be wrong - esp as it's true. It also takes away any upper hand he would have as you would have admitted your problem up front.
I think someone needs to get you a mini tape recorder for Christmas. That way after you leave each date you can be like a researcher or journalist, clicking on and making notes for yourself (for this blog). "Subject was exceptionally pale, could not make conversation, had a disgusting way of eating and touched me inappropriately as the date ended."