To more scientifically attack the problem that is my dating life and to probably hasten the complete abandonment of my sanity, I am attempting to be a member of two dating sites simultaneously. This makes complete sense since I was already annoyed with the dating site that I joined a few weeks ago, why not join another one? Sigh. But to make this a more scientific study, one of the sites has a fee and one is free; this way I can try to see if the phrase “you get what you pay for” is accurate.
Thus far, the site with a fee which we’ll call Physics* is crazily annoying. I can’t block men who don’t have pictures attached to their profile, I get matched up with men named “New Member,” and apparently geography is different in the world of Physics* as the 50 mile limit I have placed on my matches has resulted in me being matched with men in New Jersey and North Carolina even though both are WAY beyond 50 miles. I am emailing a few prospects right now. None really stand out so far but as I’ve learned, this is a marathon not a sprint.
In the wacko category, this site has already brought me a man who’s profile picture featured him standing in front of a row of teddy bears (See “How Not To Adorn Your Dating Profile” ) and this latest gem who had a picture of himself half naked and sent me the following email:
“i am single lonely man. I thought I would make first contact. I’ve always been approached. Check out my profile and let me know”
Act now, customers, and you could respond to this next gentleman who’s profile picture focused in solely on his forehead and who sent me the following opener:
“I True Man whith lots of drems, lots of happiness wiht a big heart to give to the one that’s real and dont play games whith life.”
And this was from the site that charges a fee.
Its really too early to tell if my latest foray into the free dating website free fall which we’ll call Barrel of Monkeys* is any better. The site has featured even more personality and relationship tests than Physics* but the results don’t seem to impact the guys that I’m matched with. Plus it appears that anyone can attempt to contact anyone until you really get your filters in gear. As a result, within the first 5 minutes of joining I had received 7 emails from a variety of guys living in various parts of the country. Guys on this site seem to be a little more direct with their intentions but thus far the ick factor hasn’t exceeded any other site I’ve been on. There’s only been one match that I’ve been interested in so far on that site but it’s hard to tell if he’s still a member of the site or just a profile they have running to make gullible women like me agree to put their profiles on the site.
I’m trying to psych myself up to meet some of these jokers in ‘the real world’ but since my last date was the crazy golfer who actually made me fear for my safety, I hope you won’t think less of me for being a little reluctant to dive back in to the dating pool. I’ll be sure to keep you posted on how the two sites compare and when I get the gumption to meet any of these guys in a very public place with no sharp instruments or blunt instruments either, I’m sure there will be an interesting story to pass along.
*Name has been changed
A brief update on 'Physics' website membership. Just matched with a man who took his own picture sitting on his couch, wearing unbuttoned jean shorts, shirtless and looking like he greased up his chest. His caption is (all in caps): "GET TO KNOW ME.DON'T JUDGE A BOOK BY IT'S COVER"
ReplyDeleteThe unwritten subtitle is: RUN AWAY!!!!!!!
You know, you should be working for these websites. The only problem is, they want money, not quality. So the fact that you would be an excellent...uh..."weaner?" "weeder?" "executioner?" probably wouldn't be useful to them.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you could help them create "inner" levels (that customers don't see) that promote people with actual personality to a second level where they'll be matched with better matches and perhaps further along to a third level if they've had meetings with people who liked them but felt no sparks (reviewing capacity needed).
I'm telling you, you've got a skills and possibilities goldmine (if you could stomach it).